... that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin
Tuesday
Wednesday
A wedding toast
Here's to you both
a beautiful pair,
on the birthday of
your love affair.
Here's to the husband
and here's to the wife.
May they be lovers
the rest of their life.
a beautiful pair,
on the birthday of
your love affair.
Here's to the husband
and here's to the wife.
May they be lovers
the rest of their life.
I love to drink martinis ...
...
Two at the very most.
Three I'm under the table.
Four I'm under the host!
-- Dorothy Parker
Two at the very most.
Three I'm under the table.
Four I'm under the host!
-- Dorothy Parker
Without question ...
... the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
When money's tight and hard to get ...
...
and your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt
a pint of plain is your only man.
and your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt
a pint of plain is your only man.
Fill with mingled cream and amber ...
...
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away.
What care I how time advances;
I am drinking ale today.
-- Edgar Allen Poe
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away.
What care I how time advances;
I am drinking ale today.
-- Edgar Allen Poe
Here’s to a long life and a merry one ...
...
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A drink for you, and another one!
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A drink for you, and another one!
When we drink, we get drunk ...
...
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to Heaven!
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to Heaven!
May the winds of fortune sail you ...
...
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, "This drink's on me."
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, "This drink's on me."
Here's to cheating ...
... stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother
And if you drink, may you drink with me.
If you cheat, may you cheat death
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother
And if you drink, may you drink with me.
Of all my favorite things to do ...
...
the utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
with each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer's so frothy, smooth and cold.
It's paradise, pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me.
That's all for now, I gotta pee!
the utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
with each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer's so frothy, smooth and cold.
It's paradise, pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me.
That's all for now, I gotta pee!
In all this world, why I do think ...
...
there are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends,
good wine,
lest we be dry
and any other reason why.
there are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends,
good wine,
lest we be dry
and any other reason why.
On the chest of a barmaid in Sale ...
...
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
Here's to the breeze ...
... that blows through the trees,
That blow the skirts off of young girls' knees,
Which lead to the sights that sometimes pleases,
But more often leads to social diseases.
That blow the skirts off of young girls' knees,
Which lead to the sights that sometimes pleases,
But more often leads to social diseases.
Here's to the perfect girl ...
...
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb and oversexed,
and owns a liquor store.
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb and oversexed,
and owns a liquor store.
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